|Finger licking good.|
If this sounds like something you've experienced lately, as have we, then pay close attention. You might think that the local Police or animal control would gladly assist you in ending this ordeal but you'd be mistaken. So I have come up with a plan. Yes, all on my own. Amazing me. I will explain to you, step by step how to catch yourself a wild rooster. Then you can donate him to the neighbor with some happy rooster land.
You see the main thing is to remain patient. You must not let them see you sweat! Just remember that this old T-Rex now lives in the time where you, the human, have the upper hand. This may take a little time but eventually you will be triumphant. You see I am still waiting, but have I conceded? No! Have I lost my cool? No! I remain calm, determined and persevere.
First , once you have drug yourself out of bed you must locate the individual. Then the plan. Coax the little guy closer with some freshly popped popcorn. As he gets closer it might be a good idea to keep you 2 year old from yelling and running to scare it away. Just take my word for it.
Next step, as you lure him to the porch get ready to throw a laundry basket on him. Make sure you aim properly as not to once again frighten him. And, keep the 2 year old from screaming at him and throwing pointy objects.
Now that you're all warmed up and finally getting the hang of this ask your sweet, out of shape, neighborly fellow to join in the crusade. As the neighbor corrals the rooster you quickly, carefully and precisely jump in to grab the feathery, spurred beast. Careful he may be faster than lightening. The little ones usually are. If this is not successful after 20 minutes just chase him around the yard like an idiot as your two year old watches and cheers.
Next step. Always have a plan B. If after all this your suspect flees, you must set a trap. If you are not quite clever enough to figure out how to make that homemade rooster trapping device you eventually move on to something else. Face it we can't all be Macgyver. Set the bait= more popcorn. Sit and wait. He'll be back. And when he does return SHOW NO MERCY! GOOD LUCK FELLOW ROOSTER NABBER!